Reading over my last few postings, some of which I am not sure whether to post or not, has made me realize just how much turmoil my life is in at the moment. It feels like I am wading through a huge swamp. Thick mud all around me, slowly sucking up all my energy. Clambering over one obstacle just to encounter the next one, directly in my path.
We must have postponed the move down to the boat about a hundred times now. Every time we set a date something else has come up stopping us dead in our tracks and making us re-evaluate and change our date.
In fact it has become so bad that people are starting to accuse me of lying about leaving.
25 May 2011
The past few days have been extremely traumatic and my level of confidence has diminished to a level even I can’t understand. On Sunday the house was filled with tears as we said goodbye to my Daughter and her boyfriend. And this morning when I dropped my son off at school for the last time I suffered to hold back the emotions and keep control of myself. The fact that we have to leave them here is difficult, no almost impossible to deal with. Considering the fact that we should still see them in July during the school holidays doesn’t seem to make an ounce of a difference to the emotional rollercoaster that we are riding at the moment.
29 May 2011
We eventually ran out of excuses and finally left the house yesterday morning. Today we are sitting at Kim and Darren in Durban after spending the night here last night. We decided to rent a car from Avis after our second last bakkie didn’t make the trip from the panelbeater to our house. A trip of almost four kilometres. Luckily or unluckily it packed up before we had embarked on the 600 km trek down here, and we didn’t land up having to call a towing service in the middle of the freestate. Now as I sit here I ponder about our decision and wonder if it was the correct one to make with all our worldly possessions packed into the back of two cars and a very uncertain future accompanied by no income. There is nothing like having no income to make you realise how much everything costs. I called my Daughter last night and my son this morning, cost R20 in airtime for plus minus three minutes each. I shudder to think about the cost of international or satellite call.
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| Packed and ready to go |
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| Empty house on departure |
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